Defend the Throne: MWC Tournament 2012

I would like to demonstrate my excitement for Vegas by smashing my face on the keyboard a few times, which I will now do:

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Thank you.

The Mountain West Conference tournament begins this week, which means The Road Show is in full effect. Thousands of SDSU fans are on their way North East to our vacation home of the Thomas & Mack Center to defend our back-to-back championship titles.

Are you aware that SDSU has won the last 2 MWC Tourneys? YOU ARE NOW. Did you know we've won 3 of the last 6? NOW YOU DO. We seriously run that city.

So what does that mean for you? Well, if you're reading this, odds are you already have your plans for this weekend and have prepared your livers, made your peace with God and loaded up your cars with as much 4Loko as you can legally transport across state lines. You'll be in Vegas. You'll be at the games. And you'll be drunk. Honestly that's all we need out of everyone.

But there is strength in  numbers. So here is our tentative schedule of events for the weekend.

WEDNESDAY

What, you're not coming into town Wednesday night? What the hell's the matter with you? APOLOGIZE FOR NOT PARTYING IMMEDIATELY. Nothing firm happening, other than getting drunk and imposing our will wherever we see fit. YOU'RE GOING DOWN, LIONS AT THE MGM GRAND. (puts on Zuma costume) (punches MGM lion in the face.) WE RUN THIS TOWN, BITCH.

THURSDAY

We play at noon. Yes, apparently Vegas has a noon in the morning. But fuck it, this is no time for softness. Be in the T&M parking lot about 10am for tailgating and marching into the arena together. BROTHERHOOD. We play Boise, so try to find a reason to care. Pretend Anthony Drmic is the reason your first dog died. I HAVE YET TO SEE PROOF THAT THIS IS NOT HIS FAULT.
Post-game Thursday, stick around to watch the CSU/TCU game to see is next up on the Aztec Destruction train, rolling into Las Vegas Station. WHOO WHOO, THAT'S THE SOUND OF  MURDER COMING YOUR WAY.
Thursday night? Get your self a nice meal off your winnings from betting on the Aztecs that morning, then hit the craps tables with us at Bill's. WE ARE NOTHING IF NOT CLASSY AS FUCK.

FRIDAY

One word: Blondie's. This sports bar at the Miracle Mile shops in Planet Hollywood does all-you-can-drink happy hour from 3-6. We play at 6, that means 2 hours of SDSU students and alums drinking all they can. WE ARE PUTTING THIS PLACE OUT OF FUCKING BUSINESS AND THAT IS A PROMISE. We dominated this bar last year and it was awesome. Alums buying beer for students. Everyone singing and chanting and generally dominating. Trust me, you don't want to miss this. BE AT BLONDIE'S BY 3, YOU GUYS.
After the game Friday, we'll all probably be comatose. Which means time for a short nap. Then get the fuck up, have an Earl of Sandwich. Take a shower and put on your ballerest outfit. HIT THE CLUBS AND OR BARS. SKINNY TIES AND SKINNIER BITCHES.

SATURDAY

CHAMPIONSHIP DAY. Get to the arena by 1 PM. "But the game doesn't start until 4pm!" WRONG, COCKASS. The men's game is at 4, but the Lady Aztecs will be playing for the crown that day too. It's not optional that you are in attendance for this. It is mandatory. Anyone caught coming to only the men's game on Saturday will be branded as permanently soft and shunned.
After we have swept the men's and women's tournament championship (after already sweeping the conference regular season championship, player of the year and coach of the year awards. HOT DAMN WE WE ARE FUCKING GREAT) it is time to bask in the glory of our achievements and take part in what as become a tradition after winning these tournaments. Reenacting that scene at the end of Oceans 11, smoking cigars outside the Bellagio. Bonus points for singing about America.

Rage hard this weekend, Show. Rage hard and strong.

No one likes us. We don’t care.

AND WE. WILL. BE. VICTORRRRRIOOOOUUUUSSSSS.

#DefendTheThrone

Viva Las Aztecs

This weekend, is Vegas.

Our beloved Aztecs hit the road to play some shitty team we dominate every year and it is your DUTY — not your right, not your option, YOUR DUTY — as a Showman (or Showgirl) to get your ass up the 15 and back up your university. 

Now, as a disclaimer, this is only the second-biggest Vegas trip of the year. The Mountain West Tournament in March is a much bigger deal. Why? Well we’re playing for a championship and get to play other teams, not just stupid shitty UNLV, They suck and are bad and are not good so beating them gets kind of old.

Ok, maybe it doesn’t get old.

Anyway, back to this weekend. We gon’ drank. OH WE GON’ DRANK.

And while alcohol consumption is important, there are other things to remember. For instance, did you know gambling is legal in the city of Las Vegas? It’s true! And if you’ve been betting on SDSU in our trips to Vegas in recent years (like we have) then you are a person of sound financial decision-making. Bet the Aztecs and bet BIG. When we go to Vegas we don’t just beat their team, we take their money and sex up their women and vomit on their sidewalks. HAIL!

You may be reading this and thinking, “Damn, I wish I woulda gone on this trip.” THERE”S STILL TIME, ASSHOLE. Seriously, short of your parents being killed, causing you to eventually become Gotham City’s only hope for justice, there is no excuse for not coming.

Got work? CALL IN SICK. Broke? PILE INTO A CAR, SPLIT GAS AND MAKE IT A DAY TRIP. No tickets? THERE ARE SCALPERS GIVING TICKETS AWAY FOR CHEAPER THAN FREE FISH TACO COUPONS.

If you’re now reading this and feeling guilty for not going. GOOD. We’re all ashamed of you. 

We’ll be tailgating pregame because other than shouting and being offensive, drinking in parking lots is what we do best. Follow us on Twitter (@The__Show) and we’ll let you know our exact location that morning. One word of advice though, make sure you bring your own 4Lokos from California. Nevada 4Lokos taste of losing streaks and inferiority.

There is one mantra that matters when we are on the road: “No one likes us. We don’t care.” Of course we own that building, so there’s some debate as to whether this is a road game or not.

Regardless, get ready to get drunk and get rowdy. It’s Vegas. And WE WILL BE VICTOOOOORIOUS.

#6straight #9of10 #dominance

Go Aztecs.

Sleep Over vs Air Force

Hello Show,

I add to this incredibly inactive blog with news of this Saturday’s game vs Air Force.

Many of you know, that Air Force runs the most boring offense known to man. It originated from Princeton and has somehow made it’s way over to our resident MW service academy. Basically the strategy is this: Limit your opponents possessions and offense by running the clock down during your offensive possession and taking a high percentage shot based off quick passes beating defensive rotation. Translation: Bore everyone to death, score 50 points and try to beat the opponent 50 to 49.

The most exciting thing about this game may be the fact that we are almost guaranteed curly fries at the end. Air Force has finished last in the MW in offense pretty much every year of their existence in the league. To make things even worse, the past 5 years they have been an absolutely awful team. 

If you remember, most of the time we play Air Force we break out the “Borrriiinnnnngg, Booorrrrinnnnng, Boooorrrriinnnnng” chant relatively early in the game. 

To that end the Show cordially invites you to our sleep over during the Air Force game to show the Falcons exactly what we think about their pathetically dull offense and team.

So please dress the part.

Bring pillows, night caps, blankets, hell even bust out the onezies for this opportunity to make fun at our long time rivals.

Disclaimer: Please don’t hear what I’m not saying. We expect it to be loud, and intense, especially if this game is closer than we might think. But the opportunity will probably present itself to expose just how difficult it is to watch Air Force run their offense, and having a sleep over is just the way to do that.

See you all at the game, and bring a pillow.

A Time for Hate

This is gonna be the the best game ever.

San Diego State doesn’t have a rival. Or at least, it hasn’t for about a decade.

“But what about BYU? We all hate BYU.”

First of all, everyone hates BYU. We’re not special. That’s like saying our rival is traffic, or Mondays. Also, BYU already has a rival. It’s their more infinitely-more athletically successful state-mate, the Utah Utes.

Football schedule-makers have had us play UNLV on “rivalry week” for the past few years, but again, UNLV already has Nevada-Reno as their rival. We’re just the guys who kicked the shit out of them in basketball 8 of the last 9 times. (Four of those wins came on their home court of the Thomas & Mack Center, otherwise known as “Viejas North”, The Show’s official vacation home.)

So we’ve been rivalless (WORD?) for far too long, BUT NO MORE. This Saturday we rekindle our old WAC rivarly with Cal State Fresno. (They may call themselves Fresno State, but we will always refer to them as CSU Fresno.)

But what do we really know about Fresno? Well here’s a brief history: The city of Fresno was founded in 1978 by a group of racist puppy-eaters who were kicked out of Chico State for not being able to keep up with the rigorous academic course load. They decided to form a school in the mid-80′s as a front for their lucrative crystal meth business. At some point, Trent Dilfer went there. It’s also where Ryan Matthews perfected his gold medal-quality fumbling ability. Today, Fresno is world-renown for being the home of Keven Federline and meth. Did I mention the meth?

And here we are. Now we welcome these subhuman mutants into America’s Finest City in a battle for CSU bragging rights, oh and also an antique oil can for some reason. Whatever, could be worse.

But why should we waste energy hating these worthless cretins? Well for one, they think they’re better than us. No, really. Their basic attitude is, “Fine, keep your hot girls, perfect weather, delicious food, incredible nightlife, hot girls, professional sports teams, hot girls and beaches. Our football program is still better.”

Here are just a few of the notable players and coaches to come through SDSU: Don Coryell, Brian Sipe, Zuma, Marshall Faulk, Brett Swain, John Madden, Sean Payton, Brian Stahovich and Carl Weathers.

No, seriously. Apollo Creed is an #AztecForLife.

All Fresno State has is David Carr and diabetes. ADVANTAGE ZUMA.

Rivalries are what make sports – especially college sports – awesome. And I would argue that unbridled hate is the healthiest human emotion. So on Saturday, it is your duty as an Aztec to make your way to the Q, get irresponsibly drunk and hurl vulgar, possibly nonsensical insults in the direction of anyone wearing Bulldog gear.

Get yourself a crate of 4Lokos, set up camp at B2, bump Uprising on repeat and chant “RONNIE FUCKING HILLMAN” until it loses all meaning because FUCK FRESNO. WE ARE THE SHOW AND WE WILL NEVER APOLOGIZE FOR PARTYING .

Top Plays of 2010

As the new football season approaches I’ve taken some time to reflect back on some favorite memories from the 2010 season.  Keep in mind that these are not necessarily the “best” or “most important” plays.  This is just one man’s most memorable moments from 2010, and it was not easy narrowing down the list.  Here follows a countdown of my top 5 favorite plays.

5.  New Mexico – Lindley to Sampson Touchdown

This game holds special significance for me, as it occurred on my birthday.  In a game SDSU could not afford to lose, with 5 seconds left in the second quarter the Aztecs had a less than comfortable lead.  Then Ryan Lindley connected with DeMarco Sampson for a 40-yard touchdown pass as time expired in the half.

The play begins at the 0:35 mark.

4.  TCU – Rob Andrews Sack and Jerome Long  Touchdown

This exciting game took place on the same day as the Aztecs’ first basketball game of the season.  A large contingent of Show members (along with many other SDSU fans) watched this game in a packed bar in Long Beach.  The Aztecs took the early lead, and widened the margin when Rob Andrews came out of nowhere to blindside Andy Dalton.  Jerome Long would complete the play with a fumble recovery in the end zone for an Aztec score.  With the 14-0 lead against #3 TCU the Aztec fans in the house were going nuts.  People were standing on chairs, and the whole place was singing the Aztec fight song.  Though the Aztecs couldn’t hold on to win, it was TCU’s first 2 touchdown deficit in 2 years, and the Aztecs held the lead for longer than all of TCU’s prior opponents combined.  The 35 points tallied by State were also the most points scored on TCU in 2011, and until this game the entire conference (through 6 games) had only put up 23 points against TCU.

The play begins at the 0:46 mark.

3.  Navy – Lindley to Hillman Touchdown

Everyone should remember this glorious day in Aztec history.  The doubt over whether this game would actually be played, due to flooding, only served to make the event more memorable.  The Aztecs came out aggressively and took the lead with a diversified and dominant offensive attack.  As the fourth quarter began the SDSU offense executed the perfect fake play to start to put the game out of reach for Navy.  Lindley appeared to hand the ball off to Brandon Sullivan who then went over the top while Lindley stood by, casually hiding the ball.   Lindley then delivered a perfect pass to a wide-open Ronnie Hillman for the TD.  The Aztecs went on to claim the first bowl victory of the Division 1 era.

The play begins at the 1:32 mark.

2. Air Force – Ronnie Hillman 65-Yard Touchdown Run

Fans should remember this game well, as the Aztecs defeated a Top 25 team for the first time in many years.  When the Aztecs won this game I knew that this season could be something special.  There was great energy at the Q on this day, and I still love watching the highlights and listening to the roar of the crowd as Hillman takes off for the first TD of the game.  I also love the commentary by CBS’s play-by-play man, “nothing mediocre about this kid either, look at Hillman go!  Ronnie Hillman, freshman running back, breaks a tackle! Here he goes! Off to the races, the cutback, the jump, gonna be a touchdown! 65 yards for Ronnie Hillman, how ‘bout that?!”  This play was made possible by a frenzy of broken tackles and beautiful blocks.

The play begins at the 0:30 mark.

1. Wyoming – Brian Stahovich 89-Yard Punt

How often does the punter get the glory?  Brian Stahovich’s 89-yard punt may have been the play that won the Aztecs the game.  Watching this game on TV I could only laugh at the absurdity as the ball just kept going and going.  Kicking from the end zone Brian delivered the longest punt in school history, the longest in the NCAA since 2004, and the 2^nd longest in MWC history (the longest being the aforementioned 2004 punt by Air Force).  Making the play even more impressive is that the snap was less than perfect, as Stahovich had to jump to make the catch.  Stahovich’s only punt of the game was enough to earn him MWC Special Teams Player of the Week honors.  Wyoming head coach Dave Christensen said the kick, “caused a 10-point swing in the game,” 10 points that turned out to be the margin of victory.

What were your favorite plays of the 2010 season?  Share your thoughts in the comments or on facebook.

Thanks for reading!

Halloween? Mardi Gras? The Show!

The Show has blown up this year.  The SDSU student section has been worthy of praise for a while now, but with the success of the basketball team this year enthusiasm has reached an all time high.  Students are not only camping out hours in advance to obtain tickets, but are also lining up several hours before the gates open on game day, in order to secure the best seats in the house.

Hours before the gates open.

Still hours before game time.

Once inside the arena, it is a rush to the bottom of the section to get one’s desired seat.

Opposing coaches and players have certainly noticed the intense atmosphere at the “Madhouse on the Mesa” this season.  Air Force coach Jeff Reynolds was quoted as saying “I told them that the reason they were undefeated was because of them,” Reynolds said. “That’s a great atmosphere. They’re into it. That’s what college basketball is supposed to be about. Their kids are into the game and they do it the right way.”

That’s nice praise but I much prefer the comments of Utah’s David Foster.  When asked whether The Show’s antics were bothersome he said ”Absolutely. Especially them chanting something personal about coach.”   The Show isn’t there to be nice.  The Show exists to help the Aztecs win basketball games.  No one likes us, we don’t care.

The Show has long been known for it’s unique, random and wacky costumes, but this season has brought a whole new crop of guised groupies.  It seems with each game the ante is upped. Taken from The Show Commandments are the guidelines on what is appropriate attire for Aztec basketball games:

Thou shalt wear two types of attire to games: red and black, or whatever the hell you want. “Show” clothing is designed to be as funny, ludicrous and intimidating as possible. Costumes, outfits, and any accessories you can dream up are definitely encouraged.

Now, sit back and enjoy as I take you through a tour of some of the latest costumes to appear in Viejas this season.

One of my favorites, custom painted clone trooper helmets.

Bombaye Skull face paint is epic.

Dilbert and an astronaut totally make sense for an SDSU game.

Ryan Lindley and Gavin Escobar get in on the fun.

No comment.

Mainstays Shirtless Show and Showdora

I love the classic hard hat. With an SDSU logo sticker for each victory.

Not sure what to say about this, except it is awesome.

The guy has a sweet cape too.

Sith Show

Not sure what this is supposed to be, but I like it.

Everyone knows Geckshow.

Fans of the Beastie Boys should recognize this getup from the Intergalactic music vid.

Progeny of the great Shownana.

Obligatory body painted drunk guys.

Face paint is good too.

More paint.

My personal favorite, WALDshOw.

Can't call it a student section without green men.

The Drive 1360 wanted to get in on The Show too.

ShadeShow

Sombreros and painted faces near the top of the section.

Another mandatory item: wrestling masks.

Buddy the Elf. What's your favorite color?

Nice skirt.

Throwback to the Slaughter House days.

Not sure what tigers have to do with Aztecs. Awesome nonetheless.

Master Chief

So that’s it just for the last two games.  Not pictured: Aztec Joker, Yo Slamma Jamma, Red/Black guy, Santa Claus, Skullshow and many many others.

The Dark Show

The Show is not a hero. The Show is whatever Viejas Arena needs them to be. Sound familiar? Hopefully this exchange assists in giving you the right mentality for the much-awaited showdown with BYU on Feb. 26th.

 

Mark Fisher: Dad! Dad, is he okay?

Steve Fisher: [relieved as The Show begins to pack up all the signs and giant faces] Thank you.

The Show: You don’t have to thank me.

Steve Fisher: Yes, I do. [both look at the scoreboard to see the Aztecs undefeated record no longer in tact] BYU won. The Aztec’s reputation, everything we’ve fought for – undone. Any chance you gave us at a #1 ranking dies with the loss at BYU.. We bet it all on that. Jimmer Fredette took the best of us and tore it down. People will lose hope.

The Show: They won’t. They must never know what he did.

Steve Fisher: 43 points, five of them threes? You can’t sweep that up!

The Show: No. But the Cougars cannot win. [Starts folding up typical Show attire, putting it away] Viejas needs its true hero. [Takes out full-on mormon missionary attire, along with bicycle helmet]

Steve Fisher: [immediately understanding] No!

The Show: “You either die a hero, or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain.” I can do those things because I’m not a hero, not like your players. I will cause Jimmer to cry. I will be UNCLASSY. That’s what I can be.

Steve Fisher: No, no! You can’t, you’re not!

The Show: I’m whatever Viejas needs me to be. [hands Steve Fisher his IPhone] Tweet it in.

Steve Fisher: They’ll hate you.

The Show: You’ll hate me. You’ll condemn me, set the media on me. [In the voiceover, Steve Fisher speaks at a press conference, then destroys the Show-Signal, The Show burns all the old, classier signs, and Conor creates new T-shirts and web designs] Because that’s what needs to happen. Because sometimes… the truth isn’t good enough. Sometimes people deserve more. Sometimes people deserve to have their faith rewarded.

[The Show goes apeshit]

Mark Fisher: Show? The Show! Why is he cursing and yelling, Dad?

Steve Fisher: Because we have to hate him.

Mark Fisher: He didn’t do anything wrong.

Steve Fisher: Because he’s the hero Viejas deserves, but not the one it needs right now. So, we’ll hunt him, because he can take it. Because he’s not our hero. He’s a controversial guardian. An offensive protector. The Dark Show.

(Check out our inspiration for the BYU game and this post right here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uP8d2X3EKZc  See you all on February 26th)

BYU SUCKS

That is all.

The Scientific Side of Self-Pity

San Diego State University proudly boasts of being named the #1 small research university in the country for the last 4 years. I’m starting to wonder if the athletics program at SDSU has something to do with that. Because SDSU athletics has unknowingly ventured into the scientific field and the results are both sound and logical. Granted, the AD’s office hasn’t formulated any groundbreaking scientific data inside the AAC, but I can’t think of a better example of an organism that adheres more to the laws of physics than these guys. They are their very own scientific research project.

Maybe it’s because their home field used to be called Jack Murphy stadium. Maybe former San Diego mayor Dick Murphy has something to do with it. It could even be “McMurphy’s” fault, the local pub just a few blocks from campus.  But San Diego State University has always been a strict adherent to good ol’ Murphy’s Law.  And you don’t have to be future French bio-chemist Mehdi Cheriet to know what Murphy’s law is. It’s the epigram that states, “If anything can go wrong, it will.”

And that idiom seems to have been the constant theme at SDSU for as long as I can remember. Today’s latest example is former Aztec head coach Brady Hoke’s departure for snowier pastures at the University of Michigan.

You can’t blame Brady for leaving. After all, he has stated several times to private and public sources that Michigan was his dream destination. But it seemed like so many unfortunate things had to happen just to leave SDSU without the only head coach to lead them to a bowl win since Don Coryell in 1969.

Rich-Rod, Harbaugh, Miles, Strong and whoever else all found a way to get themselves out of the picture so Hoke could find his way to pose front and center, donning the maize and blue.

I know every fan-base goes through this kind of thing. The sky seems to be falling on half the schools in the country. And if it’s not this thing, its another and so forth.  So who knows?  This might not turn out so bad, and SDSU’s future could be as bright as ever. For example, I’m pretty sure we still have an undefeated basketball team, who happens to be ranked #6 in the country.  And our team enjoys the advantage of playing in front of one of the most fanatical home-courts in college basketball.

And so far nothing has gone terribly wrong for our beloved hoops squad.  So I’m not going to lament over a possible curse.

Now, if Brian Carlwell gets caught stealing a fridge, Tim Shelton leaves the team to sign with Death Row, Malcolm Thomas jaywalks into oncoming traffic, Mehdi is deported after being exposed as a French spy and Kawhi Leonard leaves our planet to go back to his home on Pandora, then I might start going off on a whole “we’re cursed” rant.

But for now, I would just like to acknowledge that SDSU is not immune to the laws of the universe. And if any physics professor at San Diego State is having a hard time explaining Murphy’s law to his hungover and sunburned  GE students, he doesn’t need to look any farther than our very own Athletics Department for a perfect example.

“Life isn’t fair” has never sounded so scientific.

Do What DJ Does

A Little Conference Home Opener Gift From The Show. Enjoy.

Go DJ. That’s Our DJ.